Welcome to the official website of the Rotten Groton Hash House Harriers
About our kennel
Come join us for laid back fun as we run/walk/hike around the wilds of Connecticut and relax afterward with beer in hand (assuming we’re over 21). We run every other Saturday and also on random nights for FASTER & FUNNIER TRAILS.
Our website gets updated frequently, so check back soon! Checkback. See what we did there? Hilarious.
Big Dic: Philly Cheese D*ck. What this wank actually does: The "Big Dic" is a special name for our current tyrant. A tyrant is a Grand Master who also serves as a Religious Advisor. The "Grand Master" (or "Grand Mattress" if the GM is a she) is the figureh*@d of the kennel who preserves RgH3 kennel traditions and relationships with neighboring kennels. Plans mismanagement meetings, organizes events, delegates responsibilities. Is a dedicated member of RgH3, has successfully held two or more RgH3 mismanagement positions, and has hashed with other kennels far and wide.
Religious Advisors: Down Down, EZ, Philly What these wanks actually do: The Religious Advisor, or "R.A." is one part cat-herder, one part cult leader, one part dominator. He or she energetically leads chalk talk and circle. Is responsible for issuing down-downs and contextually appropriate songs when the songmeister is too drunk to do the job. Must have a sense of humor, loud,commanding presence, understanding of hash traditions,knowledge of hash songs, and be able to keep a bunch of drunk people in line for long enough to conduct a circle.
Songmeister: EZ Keyless Entry What this wank actually does: Leads the kennel in appropriate RgH3 hash songs during down downs, on trail during song checks, and at other events. Ensures that the songbook is current and organizes song practices. Manages to get drunk hashers to remember the words of hash songs through coersion and sexual favors.
Hareraiser: I'll F*ck Your Girlfriend What this wank actually does: This wank shows all the virgins how to lay (trail). Seasoned hare who makes sure that there is a hare for each hash. Convinces drunk prople to sign up for hare trails and reminds them about it when they finally sober up. Trains new hares in the art of RgH3 style haring. Scouts trail, show proper trail markings. Arranges co-hares for hares. Maintains the hareline on this website. Helps the hares write trail descriptions for Meetup. Posts these to Meetup. Brings extra chalk to trails.
Haberdasher: Down Down in Diapers What this wank actually does: These wankers know how to sell their goods for cheap. Makes sure there is nifty RgH3 swag to buy and sells it at every trail. Designs, orders, distributes swag (toe tags, give aways, or other special swag that pleases the Big Dic's whim.) May outsource design to more sober members or Third World children for 69 cents per hour. Regularly reports how broke they are as a way to guilt drunk hashers into buying more useless beer swag.
Beermeister: Lord of the Rim What this wank actually does: The most important job in the kennel, the beermeister comes to every trail with a chilled cooler full of beer for chalk talk and circle. Consolidates left over trail/circle beer for future events.
Hash Cash: Lord of the Rim What this wank actually does: Keeper of our hash cash book,the Hash Cash keeps his hands in all of our ass...ets. Attends every trail. Collects hash cash from attendees at the beginning of trail, keeps track of attendance. Maintains attendance records and balances the books using an Excel Spreadsheet. Reports how broke we are on a regular basis.
Pubic Beer Relations (PBR): PhAlice Down the Rabbit Hole What this wank actually does: This drunk knows how to solicit using the internet, keeps the kennel up to speed on upcumming events via social media (public and private Facebook events and Meetup) Works (too) closely with Hareraiser and the Big Dic to promote trails and events, including setting up regos. Makes sure Meetup or other social media platforms get paid. Manages email from virgins who will probably never c*m.
Bored of Erectors: EZ Keyless Entry Been there, done that. Former Tyrant, Webmistress, Grand Mattress, Hare Raiser, and Religious Advisor. Stands in for mismanagement as needed and gives sh*tty advice to any wank who pretends to listen.
Our kennel's history
This is only the most recent incarnation of the Rotten Groton Hash, a kennel that has had a long history of running (and not). Rhode Island H3 hasher Basket Boom Boom told us a story once about how many times the kennel has been resurrected over the last 20 years, but we forgot most of the details. Beer.
THIS incarnation of the RgH3 was started by Little Hummer Boy and Hand Job in summer 2012 after spending a year bitchingabout the lack of hashing opportunities in the Groton area. The first official RgH3 run was the "Witness the Resurrection" hash on June 2, 2012. Little Hummer Boy hared a trail in Groton, and the pack included Hand Job, Lubey Sanchez, NFN Jan, and Sound of Music Crying.
In 2012, every other weekend when we weren't hashing in Groton, RgH3 hashed with our sister kennel, New Haven Hash House Harriers, NH4, to further develop our thirst for beer.
In Summer of 2013, RgH3 added Friday full moon hashes.
In November of 2013, the Skull N Boners Hash was born, forever influencing CT hashers' taste for mud n blood.
In February of 2014, HashMat was co-hosted by all three shoreline kennels!
Even though the original RgH3 members 5 no longer regularly hash with us or have moved away to greener kennels, the RgH3 kennel continues on-on...